Remember when you were young your parents would tell you to always look neat and smart? Even at a young age, you were beginning to learn some basic lessons in marketing yourself. Back then, your parents were teaching you that looking neat and smart creates a positive first impression so vital to your success.

However, as you grew older and wiser, and life became a lot more complicated, looking neat and smart, while still vital, is no longer adequate. Whether applying for a job, meeting with a business client, winning the heart of that very special someone, or running for public office, you need to be effective in marketing yourself to win.

Here are five effective tips you may find helpful in marketing yourself:

1. Always look neat and smart:
As a tribute to parents who have always worked hard for your success, looking neat and smart will always be on top of this list. People will always gravitate towards a winner. If you look like a winner and smell like a winner, people will treat you like a winner. And you yourself will certainly start feeling like a winner. High profile politicians and business icons who have the money even hire the services of an image consultant just so they would have that winning advantage.

2. Appear bigger than you actually are:
Oftentimes, size does matter. Again, this boils down to people wanting to be with or work with winners. There seems to be this accepted mindset, actually a misconception, that winners should be big. This is why you see small local businesses adopting fancy multinational-sounding business names to make their small business appear globally big. Or they would have their business stationery printed with the flags of several countries to imply they have multinational affiliates. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. But they certainly look big. Having a virtual office “staff” makes you look big, too, even though your “staff” could be just your mother, sister or your wife. In Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki refers to his cat as his “business partner” whenever he has to enter into a contract subject to the approval of his “business partner”. Business Process Outsourcing and Contact Centers are there to create an impression that you have a big business. A business website is a very effective platform for marketing yourself as your website exposes your small business to a global market.

3. Highlight your achievements:
So what if you don’t have a Ph.D. on your resume? Or if you are just a start up business with very little credentials to show off? Do not dwell on what you do not have. Instead, focus on the benefits you can offer with what you do have and highlight these benefits when marketing yourself. Remember that almost all big industry players started out small at some point in time and were given the opportunity to grow.

4. Be a wide reader, research a lot:
Saying the right things at the right time leaves a very positive impression when marketing yourself in front of your business clients or when applying for a job. Reading and researching on a wide variety of topics gives you a wealth of information that you will find tremendously helpful during business negotiations or job interviews. Sometimes, just one brilliant remark can be all it takes to break the ice or seal the deal. In election debates, the candidate who gives the more intelligent, more relevant answers usually gets the votes. When marketing yourself, it is not enough to just look smart, you also have to talk smart.

5. Be multi-lingual and multi-cultural:
In today’s global economy, marketing yourself often requires the ability to speak several languages and be sensitive to diversities in cultures and traditions. Showing your clients you have taken extra efforts to learn about their language and culture earns you their respect and that all-important positive first impression. You can also get a lot of referrals from these clients as they usually are clannish and closely-knit.

A bounty of opportunities await you if you are effective in marketing yourself. You need to constantly keep your best foot forward, highlight your achievements, be sensitive to your markets’ needs, and always have that winning positive first impression.

You can read all the relationship advice you like, but it’s a waste of time unless you work on the core of the problem.

The core of the problem is you.

Not the you that you think you are, but the you that you have been ‘miseducated’ into being; the you that society wants you to be; the you that you never thought you would be. That is who you have to work on. That is the you that thinks reading a book or flicking through a magazine will give you the instant answer, the instant solution – unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way; and nor do you. Most of these books are too one dimensional to make much of a difference; most of the articles are too shallow to get to the core of the problem, they only address the superficial details.

Re-programming oneself is not an easy task, it requires a radical re-organization of old habits; both emotional habits and physical habits, but if you refuse to do this, then you have little hope of changing the path your life is on, the path that was chosen for you, or the path that you fell into by virtue of the people you were surrounded by; probably a path that you didn’t think about much; possibly a path you regret; a path you can change if you want to.

Although the task may not be easy, it is not complicated, it is based on simplicity, on refuting the ‘miseducation’ of the past and on seeing how the world really works, how humans truly behave, how situations usually play out. Essentially it requires honesty, with yourself and with those around you. Once you decide to strip your opinions down to the core, to the bare bones of right and wrong, then you can begin to work on building a solid foundation based on the truth you see not on the fairy tale you were sold.

Building a foundation on your own dreams and ideals is essential if you are ever going to be successful physically and emotionally – do not build a dream on the ideals that you were given or the stories you were told; it is only when you make opinions based on your own experiences and on what you actually see that you can begin to know who you are and how you truly feel. It is all very well to believe what you are told, but it doesn’t do you much good when you are told lies, exaggerations and falsehoods that don’t work out in real life; and after all, real life is where you live, not in a movie, a book or a pop song. There is no happily ever after in real life.

Allow me to generalize a little…

Most of us have been taught to always look for a solution to our problems outside of ourselves; we are guided towards thinking that an animal, a partner, friends or a child will make it all better, that God has a greater plan for us than the one we see, or that the Universe will lead us to a better place; we are rendered helpless by our belief that there is a greater force at work, an organizing energy that will work things out for us in the end just so long as we behave as we see correct, just so long as we do as we are told. This is a falsehood, a lie, a fairy tale that conveniently places the blame elsewhere, and inconveniently takes away our sense-of-self so that we are always cursing ourselves or thanking something else depending on how the situation goes. Living this way negates our core and shrouds our truth in misconceptions and impossibilities.

Whenever someone mentions God or the Universe as the omnipotent force in their lives I will always question them; I will point out the self-centered nature of their belief, (their importance becomes inordinately magnificent because God or the Universe cares about them so much as to interfere with their path on a moment by moment basis); I will argue that the second you place the responsibility of your life on an outside force then you immediately negate free will, for the moment something else has the final say, the moment there are ‘no coincidences’, is the moment that we are being controlled by that force down to the last millisecond otherwise nothing would work out as ‘it’ intended, therefore, these people deny free will as a possibility (even if they think they have it)… And usually, after a little bit of defensiveness, these people will argue themselves into saying something like, “No, I mean that God is inside me, he is energy…” – did you just say “he”??!! Did you just change your argument to suit your position right now??!! Did you just make no sense whatsoever??!! I hope you see my point – let go of the external beliefs and convenient scape goats and start looking at what is really in front of you.

Until we confront who we are and what we actually experience, until we actually take responsibility for ourselves, our lives and our situation, then we are never going to progress as well as we should, we are never going to find balance or peace; we have to let go of the crutches we have been bred to believe in and we have to get to the core, to the essence of who we are. It is only then that we can reject the ‘miseducation’ and see what really happens around us rather than sugar coating life and letting our wishes complicate the truth.

Now the truth is not always pretty, but it’s here, and in order to create the best possible version of ourself we need to be open minded, we need to be able to re-shuffle what we were taught and re-think what we were told, we have to objective rather than subjective about our actions and reactions. What we were sold is not what really happens – what we see is what really happens; in order to see the truth we have to keep our eyes open, our ears alert and our minds active, we have to take into account our own actions and thoughts and we have to analyze the bigger picture as well as the smaller details; if we can do these things then we can begin to create a solid foundation and the basis for a strong core; if we can strip away the fluff and fantasy then we can find the core to ourselves and we can see the core of what is in front of us.

Avoidance is our biggest problem.

Because the truth is sometimes ugly, we have been programmed to hide from that truth, to deny that truth and to invent another truth that makes us all feel a little bit better about the cruel, mean, vicious world we actually inhabit. If we continue on this path of avoidance then we will never get to the core of the problem and we will continue to exist in lives that make no sense, lives that are riddled with disappointment and lives that follow the failed path of those that went before us.

The core of the problem is clear to see if we are prepared to be honest about life, about human nature, about the world. If we exist in reality, if we observe the workings of the world, if we are clear in our own minds about the way we truly are, then we can begin to learn from what we see, and hopefully when we read and when we teach we will do so with truth and honesty, we will make decisions based on sound principles and we will eradicate the core problem that creates so many repetitive problems.

(Do not blame your weight problem on outside forces – do something about it in a practical and sensible way. Do not blame others for your relationship issues – look at who you are and choose people that suit you better; learn to be alone and begin to grow. Do not expect the failed systems of the past to work in your favor – think for yourself and do what works for you. Remember, nobody cares about you as much as you do, so do something about you.)

If we can get to the core of the problem, if we accept the truth about human nature and the (often disastrous) role of nurture, if we have the strength of character to stand up to the ‘miseducation’, then we can create lives and loves that will last, situations built on integrity and not fantasy, relationships with real possibilities and children with a mind of their own.

Get to the core of the problem. You.

Guy Blews

Guy Blews is the author of ‘Marriage & How To Avoid It’ and is the instigator of Realistic Relationships. He has a blog at http://www.realisticrelationships.com/ and recently released his second book, ‘Realistic Relationships’ which gets to the core of the problem on every issue related to life, love and relationships.

Pamela Dunn, founder of Executive Coaching International, is passionate about helping successful professionals and entrepreneurs achieve their highest vision of success. As a former trainer for world-class success coach Tony Robbins, Pamela has a tremendous amount of insight into personal and professional success. Her unique High Performance Coaching System is a results-oriented program that has helped countless professionals find focus, build efficiency, and eliminate overwhelm. For information about Pamela’s coaching program, or to sign up for more free, high-performance articles like this, please visit her online at http://www.pameladunn.com/.

How do you define a successful life? Is it becoming a millionaire or a sports champion? Is it finding the cure for an illness? Or is it raising happy, well adjusted children?

Luck is not the factor that determines our success. Success is the realization of your goals. Ask any successful person what they want to achieve in their life and they can tell you exactly what that is.

It is Bill Gates dream that everyone has a computer at home. He became an extremely wealthy man in the process but it is not the money that makes him successful. He has virtually realized his dream.

In fact, if you look at a lot of people that we consider successful, very few were motivated purely by the money. People who are successful usually get a lot of material rewards, which are hard not to be attached to, even when they weren’t the original reasons for them striving for success.

Roger Bannister didn’t break the four minute mile for money, but to prove it could be done. Mount Everest was the mountain Edmund Hilary wanted to conquer.

Mother Theresa wanted to help the poor but she probably never dreamt she would start a charitable organization responsible for helping millions of unfortunate people worldwide. Although she died poor, it was the general opinion that she had been successful in life.

If you are spoiled and lazy, can you be successful? In fact, I would disagree; I would say that dedication, resilience and hard work are the real secrets to success. You need the ability to pick yourself up and start over when things don’t go according to plan.

People who are successful see setbacks as opportunities. To have a successful life, firstly you need to look at what success means to you personally.

Forget about other people’s definition and find your own. You need to be committed to making this work. This may mean putting in longer hours than anyone else. It may mean studying and working at the same time. No matter what you have to do, the commitment and energy to achieve it will be there for you.

It is only when you know exactly what you want to achieve and make that your goal, will you recognize opportunities being offered to you to help you get to your destination.

If you don’t know what you want, how will you recognize when life is giving you a chance? To be successful you need to use a guide and it’s just like using a map to reach a new destination.

Know your destination, how to get there and be determined to do anything to make it.

Whether you are successful or not in life is not your parents’ fault, the fault of your genes or your third grade teacher. Accepting total responsibility for your results in life so far will help you create the life you want.

If you think you can or think you can’t, you are usually right! Henry Ford (1863-1947).

Are you afraid of change and trying out new things? If you are, do you know why? Is there any past bad experience you had which deter you from taking up challenges and missing out all those rare golden opportunities? Well, if you just too afraid of taking that first step, you should just need to take some time to digest the idea that all things happen to you with a purpose. By allowing yourself to be overcast by the shadow of your past failures will only deny you from achieving what you should deserve in this life. Treat all negative past experiences as your self improvement lessons so that you will become wiser when coming to your next attempt to achieve your dream.

So what does self improvement have to do with achieving your dream? Well, to be successful in life, you need to have what it takes. And with that, I mean you must have those great personalities in you to walk through the uneven path towards your dream. Hence, self improvement is one essential quality you must have to develop those great personalities in you.

1. Self-esteem

You need to develop high self esteem in thyself in order to believe in yourself. Past failures are simply some great lessons learnt and you should be moving on with your adventures. You can only expect others to have the confidence in you only when you have the self-confidence in yourself.

2. Be Positive

How can someone with a negative mindset be successful in his endeavors? Yes, you may still be successful with a negative mindset but you need a lot, and I mean a lot, of luck. Stay positive in facing all challenges in life and believe in yourself that you can do it if you want to. Everyone has problems and this is a fact. The only difference is how you view them and how you are going to deal with them. A person who sees problems positively is actually having a higher chance to solve his or her problem more easily as he or she doesn’t waste the precious time in worrying and complaining.

3. Self-motivation

With great positive mindset, you should develop that self-motivation in you so that your energy will not run out. Are you waking up every morning feeling excited and can’t wait to start your day? Or are you someone who has to force yourself up and drag yourself to work? Yes, that is one difference between a person with self-motivation and a person without any. When you have the motivation, you will develop that passion in you to get you job done. You will not be focusing on the tons of “work” waiting for you to complete, but you will be concentrating on the end results that you will bring about.

4. Goal Setting

If you have a dream, set your goal to achieve it. With all the enthusiasm in you but without a goal, you will only end up hitting against a wall. Set your goal very clearly and set the time as in when you are going to achieve it, then you are all well prepared to set out the journey to achieving your dream.

It takes you some effort, time and great self improvement personalities to achieve your dream. Don’t ever hope that you may one day be attaining overnight success. It will only happen if you are talking about lottery but I suppose we shouldn’t define that as being successful. There are indeed many areas where self improvement is concern and I cannot be possibly mentioning each and every one of them here or this article will become a book. So, start today to explore through the world of self improvement so as to increase your speed towards achieve your dream in life.